A Full And Complete Lyric Breakdown Of Taylor Swift's New Double Album, The Tortured Poets Department

I can't believe we're finally here. I've been a ball of nerves all week knowing that this album release would crush me, but there wasn't any way I could've truly predicted what was to come. Taylor has delivered us not one, but two albums full of some of the best songwriting I've ever seen. The sound is fantastic, a lot of it familiar (like a warm hug honestly) but the words - holy fuck. When she said she was a poet, she wasn't lying. I know I act like a big tough bitch because it's more interesting than being a soft little girl who cries all day everyday, but the people who actually know me, know that I'm much more the latter in real life. Everyone also knows I go on and on about how Taylor and I have lived parallel lives in a way, her albums and new songs always speaking to me at exactly the time they come out. Waiting for this album, I had to do a little thinking about whether or not we really HAVE been matching up since....Reputation, honestly. We were in love at the same time, but then I went through a really hard breakup/life change while Taylor was...still in love. I'll go as far as to say this album is what I've needed to process emotions I haven't bothered addressing over the last 6/7 years. As always, I just needed Taylor to show me the way. 

The world expected this to be a gut wrenching smear campaign of Taylor's recent long term ex, Joe Alwyn. We do get a handful of songs about him, that in fact rip my soul to shreds. That being said, I am shocked by the subject of a few (possibly, more) of these songs being Matty Healy of the 1975. Not because I didn't think there would be any songs about him, they did date right as Taylor was on the rebound from Joe, and they have had history for a long time...but the DEPTH of their relationship is really what we were all blind to. Turns out, a lot of us have been a victim of a Matty Healy in our lives - a semi toxic, overwhelming love bombs breaking at our feet and turning our worlds upside down kind of situation. THAT is what I feel from a lot of this album. The intensity, the self awareness of how volatile it is, and the acceptance that it's just too chaotic to succeed. I was also shocked to see not one, but two songs for Travis Kelce. One sultry, one light hearted, with pointed references to the time they've spent together in the last 9ish months. The intensity isn't quite there for me on these ones just yet - it's very much, "we really click, and we're just having fun." Honestly, just how it should be. And of course, the Kim Kardashan diss track. Perfection. 10/10. No Notes.

As is tradition, I present to you my full and complete breakdown of all 31(!!) songs and their lyrics, heavy on my personal favorite lines. 

PS - all of the other news outlets/blogs/websites who already had their "breakdowns" out by now? You either listened to the leak, or you half assed it. This masterpiece deserved time, several listen throughs, and a lot of introspection. 

Let us begin.

Fortnight (ft Post Malone)

The only "single" of the album (so far) and I think they hit it out of the park. I'm a massive Post Malone fan and I always love his sound on slow/sad songs. He delivered with this one. The music video is out now, and as promised, it's just as morose as we'd hoped. Featuring guest appearances by Ethan Hawke and Josh Charles (both of the Dead Poet's Society) it might be a new favorite of mine. The fashion, the passion, the CHAOS OF IT ALL! PS, Posty without tattoos? Okayyyyyy hayyyyyyyy

Okay back to the song itself. She opens up the entire album with this:

I was supposed to be sent away
But they forgot to come and get me
I was a functioning alcoholic
'Til nobody noticed my new aesthetic

So, we knew it was going to be a combination of "I'm crazy," "I kind of hate myself," and "I still need everyone's attention." Who among us?? She continues into the chorus:

And for a fortnight, there we were, forever running
'Til you sometimes ask about the weather
Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors
Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her

A total eye roll to anyone pretending things are "normal" when they aren't. Avoiding the obvious, not "saying the quiet part out loud," and expressing how frustrating that is (so mad, we want to MURDER!)

These lines really hit home too as a Seasonal Depression Girlie:

All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February
I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary
And I love you, it's ruining my life
I love you, it's ruining my life

FUCK. This is a near perfect way to describe trying to be in love while actually being extremely depressed. All you want is to feel normal, and it just feels impossible, which makes things all the more difficult. These lines make a lot of the lobotomy cosplay in the video make a lot of sense. (Who else is down for group lobotomies this summer????)

Overall - fantastic. Great single choice, awesome feature, LOVE it. 

The Tortured Poets Department

Album title tracks can go one of two ways - awesome, or try hard. On first listen, I wasn't a huge fan of this one. I got what they were going for, but it didn't hit right away. Second listen? I'm obsessed. What was wrong with me on the first listen? This song is clever, pointed, and paints a perfect picture. Let's see:

You left your typewriter at my apartment
Straight from the tortured poets department
I think some things I never say
Like, "Who uses typewriters anyway?"

Right off the bat we're making fun of the entire theme of the album. Typewriters, who needs em? IMO this is the beginning of a bitter sound, like when you start to resent someone for things that didn't bother you before, or worse - things you LOVED about them before. 

And who's gonna hold you like me?
And who's gonna know you, if not me?
I laughed in your face and said
"You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith
This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we'rе modern idiots"
And who's gonna hold you like me?

Incredible chorus. Chelsea Hotel about to be booked up until the end of time, but the comparisons here are spot on. Dylan Thomas, a drunk, miserable poet who spent his last days inside the Chelsea Hotel, and Patti Smith, songwriter/poet who spent a lot of her life being influenced by NYC (and also the Chelsea Hotel.) Two "tortured poets" spending time in New York, but here, Taylor is acknowledging that it isn't the reality of the situation, but more the weird fantasy roles that they're pretending to play. 

You smokеd, then ate seven bars of chocolate
We declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist
I scratch your head, you fall asleep
Like a tattooed golden retriever

Everyone bugging about this line but I don't know why? I like Charlie Puth! What's wrong with him? Also, for those who are in any kind of doubt that so many of these songs are about Matty….drugs + tattoos? that's him. Joe would never. 

But you awaken with dread
Pounding nails in your head
But I've read this one where you come undone
I chose this cyclone with you

Love this line. Very, "I know exactly what I've gotten myself into, and I can't act surprised this time." The self awareness of this album is really screaming at us, and the blatant disregard for "the right thing to do" makes it all even better. Our girl was just out here making mistakes at a vulnerable time, and she isn't apologizing for it!

Sometimes, I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me
But you told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I ever leave
And I had said that to Jack about you, so I felt seen
Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be
'Cause we're crazy
So tell me, who else is gonna know me?
At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger
And put it on the one people put wedding rings on
And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding

WOOOOOO LAWD. This bridge, devastating. Lucy (Dacus, of Boygenius) and Jack Antonoff both with their finger on the pulse of the situation at hand - messy, toxic, slightly manipulative on both sides. Playing around with pretend marriage proposals?? This is where I start to feel sad for Taylor, because imagine being someone who wants that feeling so badly, and here you have someone in front of you being so nonchalant about it. It's hard to trust it, but its hard to brush it off, too. Overall, this song is very "neither of us can stop love bombing each other." Love it. 

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

Before this song came out, there were theories that this song was going to be about Taylor's cat, Benjamin. I'm happy to report - it is not! Just another song about Matty Healy fumbling the fucking bag.

Oh, here we go again
The voices in his head
Called the rain to end our days of wild
The sickest army doll
Purchased at the mall
Rivulets descend my plastic smile

Dictionary time! Rivulets are small streams, and in this case Taylor is using it to describe the way the tears are falling down her face. MOVING! 

My boy only breaks his favorite toys, toys, oh
I'm queen of sand castles he destroys, oh, oh
'Cause it fit too right, puzzle pieces in the dead of night
I should've known it was a matter of time, oh, oh
My boy only breaks his favorite toys, oh, oh-oh-oh

Fumble, fumble fumble. Only a matter of time until "my boy" squeezes his toys a little too tight, and ruins them. This whole song is painting "him" to be the picture of someone with a juvenile way about them. "He makes fun of you because he likes you!" vibes. Especially with this next lyric:

I know I'm just repeating mysеlf
Put me back on my shelf
But first, pull the string
And I'll tell you that he runs
Because he loves me (He loves me)

Full on, making excuses for "his" behavior. Being aware that he's not going to change, and you either go with the flow or you get out of the situation. Taylor didn't want to get out of it!

Just say when, I'd play again
He was my best friend down at the sandlot
I felt more when we played pretend
Than with all the Kens
'Cause he took me out of my box (Oh-oh, oh-oh)
Stole my tortured heart (Oh-oh, oh-oh)
Left all these broken parts (Oh-oh)
Told me I'm better off (Oh-oh)
But I'm not (Oh-oh)
I'm not, I'm not

It's actually crazy how obsessed Taylor was with Matty LOL. Like, she was full blown in love with him. He could do no wrong while simultaneously doing absolutely everything wrong. She was in the mood to get her heart broken, and this song tells us that over and over. It's a good song but definitely not top 10 for me. Sounds good, but I'm starting to get Matty fatigue at this point. 

Down Bad

BANGER, BANGER, BANGER. This song is a message to the "fans," the haters who were questioning Taylor's judgement and sanity when she dated Matty shortly after her breakup with Joe. This entire song she basically says yea, I was obsessed with him, he fucked me over, get over it! I was all for the whirlwind romance thing! 

Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym
Everything comes out teenage petulance
Fuck it if I can't have him
I might just die, it would make no difference

Wrestling with the idea that everybody is telling you that you're literally in the middle of a train wreck, but you don't care. You'd rather die than admit defeat (or, rather die than be rid of that excitement.)

Did you take all my old clothes
Just to leave me here, naked and alone
In a field in my same old town
That somehow seems so hollow now?
They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about
The existence of you

Taylor/Matty is SOOOOOO Carrie and Big honestly. Everyone thinks Taylor was crazy for picking this guy, but he was clearly a smooth operator. Maybe even the smoothest of all time!

I'll build you a fort on some planet
Where they can all understand it
How dare you think it's romantic
Leaving me safe and stranded?
'Cause fuck it, I was in love
So fuck you if I can't have us

The only way to convince yourself to move on from something like this, is to channel that energy into hate. Fuck you, if I can't have us. Incredible. I absolutely love this song - the honesty, the vulnerability, all shining through in the best ways. 

So Long, London

Dear god. Grab the tissues. It's going to be hard not just copying every single lyric into this breakdown because truly, every single lyric is important. This song is, undoubtedly, about Joe. 

I saw, in my mind, fairy lights through the mist
I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift
Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away
My spine split from carrying us up the hill
Wet through my clothes, weary bones got the chill
I stopped tryin' to make him laugh, stopped tryin' to drill the safe

A theme that's becoming very clear to us all about Joe, is the fact that Taylor was never quite sure he actually wanted to be with her. She never really felt that security or that safety, and carried on throughout their relationship in this desperate way, trying to keep her man's attention. Even TAYLOR SWIFT can't always keep a guy interested, which is somehow comforting while being super depressing. 

Thinkin', how much sad did you think I had
Did you think I had in me?
Oh, the tragedy
So long, London
You'll find someone

Ugh. Gut punch. How much sad did you think I had in me? How long did you expect me to go on like this? That's what I get from this chorus. Sad. 

I didn't opt in to be your odd man out
I founded the club she's heard great things about
I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath
I stoppеd CPR, after all, it's no use
The spirit was gonе, we would never come to
And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free

FUCK. "I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free" makes me want to pull my hair out. So fucking relatable and sad. Hearing this part of the song is what turned me into a puddle of tears. Very You're Losing Me, "I can't find a pulse, my heart won't start anymore." 

And you say I abandoned the ship
But I was going down with it
My white-knuckle dyin' grip
Holding tight to your quiet resentment

More proof that Joe just didn't understand her, or the situation at hand. They viewed their time together in completely different ways. The "quiet resentment" finally got a little too loud, and it sounds like he is implementing a little bit of revisionist history to shove off his share of the blame.

You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?
I died on the altar waitin' for the proof
You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days
And I'm just getting color back into my face
I'm just mad as hell 'cause I loved this place

UGHHHHHH. HE RUINED LONDON FOR HER. London is so great. I would be equally pissed if someone's sour attitude and blatant apathy made me abandon a place that I loved. Heartbreaking. All in all, the tone of this track is a perfect reflection of the energy we've come to realize is exclusive to Joe. He never cared that she was Taylor Swift, and that was always the problem. 

But Daddy I Love Him

Here we are again, back to Matty. Thank god its a banger. Off the top we're already thinking about The Little Mermaid, Ariel exclaiming "but daddy I love him!" about Prince Eric, a human man. A relationship that was absolute BLASHPHEMY! UNHEARD OF! It seems the "people who don't understand" in this song are Taylor's friends, family, the media…really anyone who seemingly offered an unsolicited opinion or a sidelong look at her. The sound of the song is weirdly giving Fearless vibes so it's not a top 5 for me at all, but I think a lot of people will love it. It's framed almost like she took home this foreign bad boy to Nashville and the people in the town were appalled…and she loved how it ruffled people's feathers. Let's see:

I forget how the West was won
I forget if this was ever fun
I just learned these people only raise you
To cage you
Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best
Clutchin' their pearls, sighing, what a mess
I just learned these people try and save you
'Cause they hate you

Something I've noticed about this album as a whole is that Taylor makes a TON of religious references. I'm not sure if she's just recently gotten very existential, or what. This verse we're painting them as people who are acting as if they are on a high horse (clearly.)

LOL, oh, I mean, literally:

Too high a horse for a simple girl
To rise above it
They slammed the door on my whole world
The one thing I wanted

Judgemental bitches, that's who!

Now I'm runnin' with my dress unbuttoned
Scrеamin', "But Daddy, I love him
I'm havin' his baby"
No, I'm not, but you should see your faces
I'm tellin' him to floor it through thе fences
No, I'm not coming to my senses
I know he's crazy, but he's the one I want

Diabolical jokes from Taylor here. This entire album, while sad, really is full of a ton of dry, sarcastic jokes. My favorite kind! Gagging people with the thought of her having a baby with someone these people deem unseemly? Hilarious. 

I'll tell you somethin' right now
I'd rather burn my whole life down
Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin'
I'll tell you somethin' 'bout my good name
It's mine alone to disgrace
I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing

FUCKING TELL THEM, GIRL!!!! You don't give a FUCK about what they have to say about you! If you want to burn your life down, you'll do it yourself! You're not fooled by these fake ass bitches. Never let them forget it. Originally on Genius lyrics it read, "empire's clothing" which I thought was a call to "emperor's new clothes," exposing those who put on airs but in reality are just grifters. I think it still applies with the real lyrics being "empath's clothing." 

God save the most judgmental creeps
Who say they want what's best for me
Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see
Thinkin' it can change the beat
Of my heart when he touches me

Now we're spelling it out nice and clear. TAYLOR DOESN'T CARE WHAT YOU THINKKKKK!!!!!!

Scandal does funny things to pride, but brings lovers closer
We came back when the heat died down
Went to my parents and they came around
All the wine moms are still holdin' out, but fuck 'em, it's over

Now I'm dancin' in my dress in the sun and
Even my daddy just loves him
I'm his lady
And oh my God, you should see your faces
Time, doesn't it give some perspective?
And no, you can't come to the weddin'
I know it's crazy, but he's the one I want

I think this song would hit harder in terms of the "story" of Taylor's life if she was actually with Matty now. In retrospect, it seems like a lot of grief. But, again, she doesn't give a fuck what we think! He was her wild man and there was nothing we could ever do or say to take that away from her. You go girl. 

Fresh Out The Slammer

Ah, yes. A tale as old as time. This entire song is, "hey, I just broke up with my boyfriend and I'm going to place a call to ol' faithful." Let's get into it:

Now, pretty baby
I'm runnin' back home to you
Fresh out the slammer
I know who my first call will be to
(Fresh out the slammer, oh)

I'd say this one is right on the nose!

Another summer, takin' cover, rolling thunder
He don't understand me
Splintered back in winter, silent dinners, bitter
He was with her in dreams

She was with Joe, but FANTASIZING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE! (Matty, again)

Gray and blue and fights and tunnels
Handcuffed to the spell I was under
For just one hour of sunshine
Years of labor, locks and ceilings
In the shade of how he was feeling
But it's gonna be alright, I did my time

Tough to refer to your 6 year relationship as "jail," but I think we all get it by now. Also a direct reference to her line in Reputation's "…Ready For It" where she boasts, "He can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor" referring to Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor's tumultuous relationship.

My friends tried, but I wouldn't hear it
Watch me daily disappearing
For just one glimpse of his smile
All those nights, he kept me goin'
Swirled you into all of my poems
Now we're at the starting line, I did my time

This girl was OBSESSED. Absolutely infatuated. Swirling him into all of her poems! In a twisted way, it's pretty romantic. 

To the one who says I'm the girl of his American dreams
And no matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway
Ain't no way I'm gonna screw up now that I know what's at stake here
At the park where we used to sit on children's swings
Wearing imaginary rings

Again with the rings! I'm beginning to think Matty fake proposed to Taylor like, every single day. 

All in all, great song. Not my favorite, again we're going heavy handed for Matty and I'm a little like "ugh, okay" but I really do get it. She was entranced! Possibly…enchanted?

Florida!!! (ft Florence + The Machine)

One of my favorites. This one is a lot more light hearted, talking a lot about being flustered by life and wanting to disappear and start a new one…somewhere like, FLORIDA! Florence + The Machine are incredible as always, and I foresee this one being a big summer song. Taylor said in an interview that when writing this song, she had been watching a lot of Dateline. More often than not, the people featured would flee to Florida and start a new life. LOL. 

You can beat the heat if you beat the charges too
They said I was a cheat, I guess it must be true
And my friends all smell like weed or little babies
And this city reeks of driving myself crazy

A perfect way to describe someone in their 30s who isn't following a traditional life path. I can relate hard to this. All of my friends are either pregnant, just had a baby, or doing the same thing I'm doing - smoking weed on my couch every night. 

Little did you know your home's really only
A town you're just a guest in
So you work your life away just to pay
For a time-share down in Destin

Funny Taylor is here! Florida is basically the Bermuda triangle that everyone wants to disappear into. 

The hurricane with my name when it came
I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away
Barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine
Well, me and my ghosts, wе had a hell of a time
Yes, I'm hauntеd, but I'm feeling just fine
All my girls got their lace and their crimes
And your cheating husband disappeared
Well, no one asks any questions here

This was Florence's line and I'm fucking obsessed. "Me and my ghosts had a hell of a time," just embracing the chaos and accepting it for what it is. She has a way with words too!

I need to forget, so take me to Florida
I've got some regrets, I'll bury them in Florida
Tell me I'm despicable, say it's unforgivable
At least the dolls are beautiful, fuck me up, Florida

Love it. Probably the most obvious song on the album, not directed at anyone in particular and like I said, a great sound. We'll be hearing a LOT of Florida. Nicely done. 

Guilty As Sin?

Oh boy, here's the sexy song we've all been looking for. The lyrics speak for themselves:

My boredom's bone-deep
This cage was once just fine
Am I allowed to cry?
I dream of crackin' locks
Throwin' my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks
Crashin' into him tonight, he's a paradox
I'm seeing visions
Am I bad or mad or wise?

Wrestling with thoughts of insanity, the only way to process such strong emotions. They're nearly impossible to ignore, and like the tides, you just have to go along with them or you'll drown.

What if he's written "Mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?
One slip and fallin' back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top lip kiss, how I long for our trysts
Without ever touchin' his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?

Here she goes fantasizing again!!! Is she guilty, just for imagining it? The verdict says: no. We've all been there, girl. Sometimes your mind gets away from you!

These fatal fantasies
Giving way to labored breath takin' all of me
We've already done it in my head, if it's make-believe
Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?

To me this sounds like a self fulfilling prophecy, which sometimes adds unnecessary pressure to something. You've already resigned yourself to the fact that, this is going to happen. It's a runaway train. 

What if I roll the stone away?
They're gonna crucify me anyway
What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?
If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me
They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly
I choose you and me religiously

More religious references. In this scenario, Taylor is Jesus Christ! She recognizes no matter what she does, even if it's to save herself, it won't matter when it comes to the court of public opinion. The whole song gives that vibe - I'm guilty, no matter what. Why not lean into it? Great tune. Now that I think about it, there are rumors that the song "SLUT!" was a duet with Matty until this blowup happened and Taylor redid the song for herself. "SLUT!" kind of has the same vibes!

Who's Afraid Of Little Old Me?

BANGER ALERT! ANTHEM ALERT! My current #1. I fucking LOVE the energy of this song, the manic thoughts and untethered rage expressed perfectly, as always. Let's see:

If you wanted me dead, you should've just said
Nothing makes me feel more alive

SHE'S FUELED BY THE HATERS! Don't test her!!!

So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street
Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream
"Who's afraid of little old me?"
You should be

Obsessed. Chaotic and unapologetic, embracing that assumption that she's a monster on a hill and giving the crowd exactly what they want - all the crazy. And, yes, you should be afraid of it. 

I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean
"Don't you worry, folks, we took out all her teeth"
Who's afraid of little old me?
Well, you should be

This is her talking to the media. "No one likes a mad woman, you made her like that." I love the comparison to an animal who has had all its defenses removed for fear of it destroying everyone around it. It also makes me sad to think that Taylor's been made to feel this way by so many people. 

So tell me everything is not about me, but what if it is?
Then say they didn't do it to hurt me, but what if they did?
I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me
You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
So all you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs
I'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said?
That I'll sue you if you step on my lawn
That I'm fearsome and I'm wretched and I'm wrong
Put narcotics into all of my songs
And that's why you're still singin' along

A succinct list of all the things that people say and assume about her. Embracing that crazy. Honestly, it's remindIng me of shaved head Britney Spears beating up the paparazzi with an umbrella. Very, ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? 

You caged me and then you called me crazy
I am what I am 'cause you trained me
So who's afraid of me?
Who's afraid of little old me?

10/10 song. The sound is great, the lyrics are even better, and the message is received loud and clear - she hears what people say, and she doesn't give a fuck. 

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

The shortest on the first half of the album, and a total play on a 1975 song in title, sound and lyrics. Another Matty special about a fuckboy who just won't change his stripes. 

The smoke cloud billows out his mouth
Like a freight train through a small town
The jokes that he told across the bar
Were revolting and far too loud

Here is where the Lavender Haze is starting to clear, and Taylor is seeing this man for who he really is - the never changing jerk he's always been, or at least, regressed back to.

They shake their heads sayin', "God, help her"
When I tell 'em he's my man
But your good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger
I can fix him, no, really, I can
And only I can

Don't worry Tay. We've all been there. Thinking we're the one and only person who can actually change someone for the better. Spoiler - it never works!

Good boy, that's right, come close
I'll show you Heaven if you'll be an angel, all mine
Trust me, I can handle me a dangerous man
No really, I can

No, yea, for sure! You totally can! Lolololol. Great song. I love a delusional anthem. 

loml

This is the first time I finally have a little sympathy for the situation. This girl was love bombed left and right, hung out to dry, led on for years, preyed upon at a vulnerable time…all to discover that he is the LOSS of her life. It's a little unclear who this song is about, though. People really think it's about Joe, and it could be. But idk! I get Matty vibes, again. 

Who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames
If we know the steps anyway?
We embroidered the memories of the time I was away
Stitching, "We were just kids, babe"
I said, "I don't mind, it takes time"
I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed
I've felt a glow like this never before and never since

Damn. The feelings were just SO INTENSE and that really comes through on this track. 

If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary
You and I go from one kiss to getting marriеd
Still alive, killing time at the cеmetery
Never quite buried
And you suit and tie in the nick of time
You low-down boy, you stand-up guy
You holy ghost, you told me I'm the love of your life
You said I'm the love of your life
About a million times

Sometimes it doesn't matter how many times you hear it, its impossible for it to sink in. Especially when you've already decided it's…kind of a crock of shit.

Who's gonna tell me the truth when you blew in with the winds of fate
And told me I reformed you?
When your impressionist paintings of heaven turned out to be fakes
Well, you took me to hell too
And all at once, the ink bleeds
A con man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme
I've felt a hole like this never before and ever since

Major gasp. A perfect way to describe "too good to be true." Nothing comes that easily. 

You shit-talked me under the table
Talkin' rings and talkin' cradles
I wish I could unrecall
How we almost had it all
Dancing phantoms on the terrace
Are they second-hand embarrassed
That I can't get out of bed
'Cause something counterfeit's dead?
It was legendary
It was momentary
It was unnecessary
Should I let it stay buried?

This is where the conflict comes in. Talking shit and making grand promises sounds like Joe, but "should I let it stay buried" sounds like "should I not have rekindled this flame" (Matty.) Either way, there's definitely exasperation here. 

Oh, what a valiant roar
What a bland goodbye
The coward claimed he was a lion
I'm combing through the braids of lies
I'll never leave, never mind
Our field of dreams engulfed in fire
Your arsons match your somber eyes
And I'll still see it until I die
You're the loss of my life

Gut punch, again. The bland goodbye/cowardly lion lines make me think of Joe. So much time, such a "loving relationship" totally gone to waste. A loss, indeed. Very sad song. I loved it. 

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

ANOTHER BANGER ALERT!!!!! Major fucking bop. I was dancing in the shower to this today. It's all about how no matter what Taylor has going on in her life, she still has to perform, and nobody is the wiser. She explains:

I can read your mind
"She's having the time of her life
There in her glittering prime
The lights refract sequin stars off her silhouette every night"
I can show you lies

Glittering on stage at the Eras Tour through tears, literally. It's very much giving "And I might be okay but I'm not, fine at all" but with a fun, morbidly positive twist.

'Cause I'm a real tough kid
I can handle my shit
They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did
Lights, camera, bitch, smile
Even when you wanna die
He said he'd love me all his life
But that life was too short
Breaking down, I hit the floor
All the piеces of me shatterеd as the crowd was chanting, "More"
I was grinnin' like I'm winnin'
I was hittin' my marks
'Cause I can do it with a broken heart

WOMEN CAN DO ANYTHING! TAYLOR SWIFT CAN DO ANYTHING!

I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day
I'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague
I cry a lot, but I am so productive, it's an art
You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart

Some of the most honest lines she's ever written. Everything has gone to shit, she's depressed as hell, her man is ghosting her, and she still has to get out there and WORK. 

You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart
You know you're good, haha, good
'Cause I'm miserable (Haha)
And nobody even knows
Ah, try and come for my job

Moral of the story? Nobody does it like Taylor. Even at her worst, she's giving us her best. We don't deserve her. 

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

"Hi, police? I'd like to report a murder." Matty Healy needs to enter witness protection after this one. Don't believe me? See for yourself:

Was any of it true?
Gazing at me starry-eyed
In your Jehovah's Witness suit
Who the fuck was that guy?
You tried to buy some pills
From a friend of friends of mine
They just ghosted you
Now you know what it feels like

BROOOOOOO. This man fucked up BAD. Even friends of friends don't fuck with you anymore. 

And I don't even want you back, I just want to know
If rusting my sparkling summer was the goal
And I don't miss what we had, but could someone give
A message to the smallest man who ever lived?

Do we think anyone has delivered this message yet? I sure hope so!

You hung me on your wall
Stabbed me with your push pins
In public, showed me off
Then sank in stoned oblivion
'Cause once your queen had come
You'd treat her likе an also-ran
You didn't measure up
In any measurе of a man

DRAG HIM QUEEN! RIGHT THROUGH THE MUD!

Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?
Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?
Were you writin' a book? Were you a sleeper cell spy?
In fifty years, will all this be declassified?
And you'll confess why you did it and I'll say, "Good riddance"
'Cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden
I would've died for your sins, instead, I just died inside
And you deserve prison, but you won't get time
You'll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars
You crashed my party and your rental car
You said normal girls were boring
But you were gone by the morning
You kicked out the stage lights, but you're still performing

DRAG AFTER DRAG AFTER DRAG. Wow. Sounds like she kind of fucking hates this guy. Also, the line of "you crashed my party" reminds me of Betty. Was Matty Healy just James all along?

The Alchemy

Finally, some sunshine and rainbows!! This is the song about Travis, and their undeniable chemistry. I'll be the first to admit it was a little jarring/cheese, but like I said - her thoughts of him should be light hearted, and that's exactly what she's telling us:

This happens once every few lifetimes
These chemicals hit me like white wine
What if I told you I'm back?
The hospital was a drag
Worst sleep that I ever had
I circled you on a map
I haven't come around in so long
But I'm coming back so strong

He's bringing her back to life!!! Awwwww

So when I touch down
Call the amateurs and cut 'em from the team
Ditch the clowns, get the crown
Baby, I'm the one to be
'Cause the sign on your heart
Said it's still reserved for me
Honestly, who are we to fight thе alchemy?

A little on the nose with "touch down," leaving little to the imagination. I also think "ditch the clowns" is a direct shot at Travis' old publicist, Pia, who famously shared a photo from her friend who put a clown emoji over Taylor's face. Karma is my boyfriend!

These blokes warm the benches
We've been on a winning streak
He jokes that "It's heroin, but this time with an E"

She's had just about enough of these British boys, and she found a man who makes HER the hero of the story. GUSHING!!!!

Shirts off and your friends lift you up over their heads
Beer stickin' to the floor, cheers chanted 'cause they said
There was no chance trying to be the greatest in the league
Where's the trophy? He just comes runnin' over to me

A perfect song for Travis. Referencing the fact that no matter what he's doing in the life he has, he always makes time for her. Even if it means ignoring the Super Bowl trophy just to give her a big fat smooch. Precious. 

Clara Bow

This one is very intense. Clara Bow, the real person and starlet, had a tough time with the limelight and struggled with her mental health. Taylor likens herself to this, obviously. This whole song reminds me of a darker version of "The Last Great American Dynasty," where Taylor finds herself similar to the subject at hand. This time she isn't buying a house, she's checking into the psych ward. LOVE IT. 

You look like Clara Bow
In this light, remarkable
All your life, did you know
You'd be picked like a rose?
I'm not trying to exaggerate
But I think I might die if it happened
Die if it happened to me
No one in my small town thought I'd see the lights of Manhattan

As usual, she was underestimated and made it big. But can she handle it? 

This town is fake, but you're the real thing
Breath of fresh air through smoke rings
Take the glory, give everything
Promise to be dazzling
You look like Stevie Nicks
In '75, the hair and lips
Crowd goes wild at her fingertips
Half moonshine, a full еclipse

This all feels self explanatory to me. The parallels are real. Clara Bow, Stevie Nicks - both women who exposed their vulnerability and shot to stardom - but at what cost?

Beauty is a beast that roars down on all fours
Demanding more
Only when your girlish glow flickers just so
Do they let you know?
It's hell on earth to be heavenly
Them's the breaks, they don't come gently
You look like Taylor Swift
In this light, we're lovin' it
You've got edge, she never did
The future's bright, dazzling

Cementing herself among the greats, making it very clear how she feels about fame in general. It's a fickle thing, as we all know. Wrapping it up as if it's someone new being compared to Taylor, just as she was compared to others. An extremely smart song. Love it. 

~~~~THE ANTHOLOGY~~~~ (side 2)

I can't believe how long I've been writing this blog and I'm only halfway done. WE PRESS ON!

The Black Dog

This one is a big favorite. The Black Dog is a bar that Taylor's old love is at, but she isn't there. Let's digest:

I am someone who until recent events
You shared your secrets with
And your location, you forgot to turn it off
And so I watch as you walk
Into some bar called The Black Dog
And pierce new holes in my heart
You forgot to turn it off
And it hits me

WOOF. First off, sharing your location is insanity. I know the married crowd always feels differently but I feel strongly that it's ALWAYS done more harm than good. That being said, we've all been there. Finding out things we technically shouldn't because of technology. Ouch. 

I just don't understand how you don't miss me
In The Black Dog, when someone plays "The Starting Line"
And you jump up, but she's too young to know this song
That was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming
Old habits die screaming

To me it sounds like 1, she's upset to feel "forgotten." Two, she's throwing a little shade at whoever "he" is with now. She's too young to even know the song that's playing at the bar. CUTS DEEP.

I move through the world with a heart broken
My longing state unspoken
And I may never open up thе way I did for you
And all of those best laid plans
You said I needed a bravе man
Then proceeded to play him
Until I believed it too
And it kills me

Listen. We've all been made a fool of before. It fucking sucks. Even Taylor isn't safe from being told time and time again to trust that the truth is being delivered, when it isn't. It hurts just as bad every time. 

Now I wanna sell my house
And set fire to all my clothes
And hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons
Even if I die screaming
And I hope you hear it

More religious references, interesting. It's easy to imagine this feeling - like everything has gone to shit and you just want to burn your entire life down. Preach, girl. This song is pretty depressing and I think accurately portrays that feeling of "losing" someone, and how it's still a difficult thing to go through even when it's what you wanted all along. 

imgonnagetyouback

This one is a direct shot at Matty Healy (again.) The title of the song is written in 1975 fashion, and the references are pulled from a lot of their songs:

Whether I'm gonna be your wife or
Gonna smash up your bike, I haven't decided yet
But I'm gonna get you back
Whether I'm gonna curse you out or
Take you back to my house, I haven't decidеd yet
But I'm gonna get you back

The 1975 song in question is called "fallingforyou," with specific references to Matty's own bike, and to the fact that Taylor said she would one day bring him to her house. SCANDAL! Smash up that bike girl!

Small talk, big love, act like I don't care what you did
I'm an Aston Martin that you steered straight into the ditch
Then ran and hid
And I'll tell you one thing, honey
I can take the upper hand and touch your body
Flip the script and leave you like a dumb house party
Or I might just love you 'til the end (Ah)

She's clearly conflicted here. This song sounds sassy to me, like "maybe I will, maybe I won't." Threat vibes! But definitely a little angry flirting. Apart from "the smallest man who ever lived," I'm willing to bet that Matty is low key loving all this attention.

Bygones will be bygone, eras fadin' into grey (Fading into grey)
We broke all the pieces, but still wanna play the game (Oh)
Told my friends I hate you, but I love you just the same
Pick your poison, babe, I'm poison either way (Ha)

Immediately in my head I've got "so it's gonna be forever, or it's gonna go down in flames." If anything, she's consistent! Bravo, bravo. 

PROGRAMMING NOTE: It's 11:26pm, and I've just smoked a little weed. The following reviews may reflect that. 

The Albatross

I really love this one. More "monster on the hill" vibes, Taylor clearly views herself as this giant burden on everyone else. It's sad, but man can this girl paint a picture:

Wise men once said
"Wild winds are death to the candle"
A rose by any other name is a scandal
Cautions issued, he stood
Shooting the messengers
They tried to warn him about her

I love when Taylor writes about herself in the third person. In this instance she's obviously using the Albatross as a metaphor but it's still amazing. 

Cross your thoughtless heart
Only liquor anoints you
She's the albatross
She is here to destroy you

Hell yes. Am I the Albatross? Taylor likes to refer to herself as the awful person that people paint her to be. Albatross here kind of feels like another way to say "Maneater." A much more poetic way, if you will. 

Wise men once said
"One bad seed kills the garden"
"One less temptress, one less dagger to sharpen"
Locked me up in towers
But I'd visit in your dreams
And they tried to warn you about me

Okay I am definitely the Albatross. Here I think she's trying to paint herself as "the problem" again. She's the one who will make you question yourself and maybe lose your moral compass. Girl, you're taking on way too much blame!

Wise men once read fake news
And they believed it
Jackals raised their hackles
You couldn't conceive it
You were sleeping soundly
When they dragged you from your bed
And I tried to warn you about them
So I crossed my thoughtless heart
Spread my wings like a parachute
I'm the albatross
I swept in at the rescue
The devil that you know
Looks now more like an angel
I'm the life you chose
And all this terrible danger 

Here I imagine she's overcome the rumors and made it to a point where someone really KNOWS her. Or, is it that she's trying to get this across and no one is believing that she's genuine, or looking out for them, because of the terrible picture she feels has been painted of her? I really loved this one. Very sad, very self loathing, very misunderstood. I can relate!

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE? That's what everyone is asking, but I think they are truly just random names. It makes sense immediately in the beginning of the song:

Your hologram stumbled into my apartment
Hands in the hair of somebody in darkness
Named Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
And I just watched it happen
As the decade would play us for fools
And you saw my bones out with somebody new
Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school
And you just watched it happen

This one to me is 1. clearly about Matty and 2, a clear depiction of "right person, wrong time." It seems like these two have been doing this dance for a decade, and the timing never matched up for them. They watch each other with other people, and do nothing about it. 

If you wanna break my cold, cold heart
Just say, "I loved you the way that you were"
If you wanna tear my world apart
Just say you've always wondered

FUCK. Wow. Immediate tears for me on this one. What a cruel thing to say. Essentially, "you've changed." Or the equivalent to, "you aren't who I married."

You said some things that I can't unabsorb
You turned me into an idea of sorts
You needed me, but you needed drugs more
And I couldn't watch it happen

If there's one thing about Matty Healy, it's that he loves drugs.

So if I sell my apartment
And you have some kids with an internet starlet
Will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon?
Like it never happened

PUKE. PUKE ON THE FLOOR. Are you telling me, my favorite song on Midnights, Maroon, is ABOUT MATTY????? First Cardigan, now this?? SAY IT AIN'T SO!! The internet starlet is also a line from "The 1"…."you meet some woman on the internet and take her home." Was all of Folklore about Matty Healy? My brain is exploding. Despite all this, I fucking loved this song. 

How Did It End?

Another major tearjerker. Fans think it's about Joe and I agree. Very much a "how did we end up here?" vibe to it. 

We hereby conduct
This post-mortem
He was a hot house flower to my outdoorsmen
Our maladies were such
We could not cure them
And so a touch that was my birthright became foreign

We're getting VERYYYY poetic now. I have a feeling this song was simply a poem that she put a tune to. Right now we're looking back on a relationship that is now dead, and what happened.

Come one, come all
It's happenin' again
The empathetic hunger descends
We'll tell no one
Except all of our friends
We must know
How did it end?

Ughhh PAINNNN. They're broken up, but it makes it too real to tell the world, so you only tell your friends. Otherwise, they'll have to prepare for all the questions. Delaying the inevitable! 

We were blind to unforeseen circumstances
We learned thе right steps to different dancеs (Oh, oh-oh)
And fell victim to interloper's glances
Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?
Soon, they'll go home to their husbands
Smug 'cause they know they can trust him
Then feverishly calling their cousins 

The rumor mill is always alive and well. They grew apart, neither of them had a grasp on reality, and everyone else seems to think they can just gab away about it whenever they want, behind their backs. Typical!

Guess who we ran into at the shops?
Walking in circles like she was lost
Didn't you hear?
They called it all off
One gasp and then
How did it end?

This is where I really get got. Who among us hasn't been wandering around, wistfully lost and longing for a past love?

Say it once again with feeling
How the death rattle breathing
Silenced as the soul was leaving
The deflation of our dreaming
Leaving me bereft and reeling
My beloved ghost and me
Sitting in a tree
D-Y-I-N-G

CHILLS. A very descriptive painting of death, a heavy handed metaphor for the death of this relationship. The opposite of K-I-S-S-I-N-G. This is some smart stuff, Tay. This song really ripped me apart and I feel like I'm not explaining it enough because it almost feels too personal. I can't imagine what it's like for Taylor to know that we all know her business, but completely understand her feelings of loss. Great song. 

So High School

Let's lift us back up with another sweet Travis Kelce song!!!! And a BOP at that. Normally I'm not a fan of a nostalgic/high school style track, it's just not my vibe. I do actually like this one, though. It's cute, fun, casual, lots of shoutouts to him and his friends. 

I feel so high school every time I look at you
I wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you

He makes her feel young, wild and free!!!

And in a blink of a crinklin' eye
I'm sinkin', our fingers entwined
Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights
Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me
I'll drink what you think and I'm high
From smokin' your jokes all damn night
The brink of a wrinkle in time
Bittersweet sixteen suddenly

I'm obsessed with the "tell me bout the first time you saw me." Such an adorable conversation you always have with someone new, because it feels romantic and brings that thought of "wow, he was loving me from afar." Super cute. 

I'm watchin' American Pie with you on a Saturday night
Your friends are around, so be quiet
I'm trying to stifle my sighs
'Cause I feel so high school every time I look at you
But look at you

Do we think they actually watched American Pie together? LOL IF SO

Are you gonna marry, kiss or kill me? (Kill me)
It's just a game, but really (Really)
I'm bettin' on all three for us two (All three)
Get my car door, isn't that sweet? (That sweet)
Then pull me to thе backseat (The backseat)
No onе's ever had me (Had me), not like you

The MFK line is a hilarious callback to an interview Travis had YEARS ago where he was asked MFK, Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift and Katy Perry. He chose to kiss Taylor and marry Katy, so it's even funnier looking back. I like her putting in the line that makes us think, "it's just a game…but for real you would marry me, right?" Also, these backseat lines? OKKKKK GET IT GIRL

Truth, dare, spin bottles
You know how to ball, I know Aristotle
Brand new, full throttle
Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto
It's true, swear, scouts honor
You knew what you wanted and, boy, you got her
Brand new, full throttle
You already know, babe

While its laugh out loud to actually picture Taylor and Travis hanging out like this, it really is SO HIGH SCHOOL. Sitting in someone's basement while all the boys play videogames and you're huddled under a blanket in the corner. He knows ball, she knows Aristotle. POETRY AGAIN!

I feel like laughin' in the middle of practice
To that impression you did of your dad again
I'm hearing voices like a madman

OMG a shoutout to Ed Kelce!!! Adorable. He's going to LOVE that. 

All in all, a great song. Light again, showcasing the fact that they have a lot of fun, and can't get enough of each other. Underneath the surface, they're just two kids having fun.

I Hate It Here

Another depression anthem. SAD GIRLS ARE EATING TONIGHT!!! Let's break it down:

Quick, quick, tell me something awful
Like you are a poet trapped inside the body of a finance guy
Tell me all your secrets, all you'll ever be is
My eternal consolation prize
You see, I was a debutante in another life, but
Now I seem to be scared to go outside
If comfort is a construct, I don't believe in good luck
Now that I know what's what

To me this song is all about being uncomfortable in your own skin, and the place you're at in life. Or, moreso not knowing how to be someone that everyone wants you to be, instead of being yourself. 

I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind
People need a key to get to, the only one is mine
I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child
No mid-sized city hopes and small-town fears
I'm there most of the year 'cause I hate it here
I hate it here

Ah, yes. Dissociating, a classic trauma response. Relatable!

My friends used to play a game where
We would pick a decade
We wished we could live in instead of this
I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists
And getting married off for the highest bid
Everyone would look down 'cause it wasn't fun now
Seems like it was never even fun back then
Nostalgia is a mind's trick
If I'd been there, I'd hate it
It was freezing in the palace

I love all this. I am NOT really a nostalgia girl. Or, I should say, I'm very selective with what I want to remember. I think it's really smart to remind people these days, who are so obsessed with the idea of nostalgia, that it's not all it's cracked up to be. 

I'm lonely, but I'm good
I'm bitter, but I swear I'm fine
I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on purpose
This place made me feel worthless
Lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me
And in my fantasies, I rise above it
And way up there, I actually love it

More sadness but also more truth. Sometimes we put on a brave face even though we don't feel like we belong, or we deserve to be where we are. All in all, this is a sad song coupled with a slightly upbeat tune. It feels kind of sarcastic or defeated, back to that self deprecating energy we've kept throughout this whole album. Amazing.

thanK you aIMee

A masterpiece from top to bottom. I went in on this separately already. Still love it. And now, we have shirts on sale!

I Look In People's Windows

I love this one and it hits home for me. I, too, look in people's windows and have in fact seen things I didnt want to, or shouldn't have seen, while longing to see something else. The song makes me feel really lonely, which I'm sure is intentional. 

I had died the tiniest death
I spied the catch in your breath
Out, out, out, out, out, out
Northbound I got carried away
As you boarded your train
South, south, south, south, south, south

Our girl loves a train!! I get it. There's something both romantic and somber about a long train ride, looking out the windows, headed somewhere new or headed home. 

I look in people's windows
Transfixed by rose golden glows
They have their friends over to drink nice wine
I look in people's windows
In case you're at their table
What if your eyes looked up and met mine
One more time

DAGGER TO THE HEART. Ugh, totally heartbreaking. Feeling lost, looking for one more glimpse of a time where you felt like you were grounded. ITS SO SAD!!!!!

Does it feel alright to not know me?
I'm addicted to the "if only"
So I look in people's windows
Like I'm some deranged weirdo
I attend Christmas parties from outside
I look in people's windows

More self awareness about how it's something desperate that she feels ashamed to be thinking/doing. It never feels good to be left out in the cold! VERDICT: A perfect sad song. 

The Prophecy

I don't want to mash too many of my worlds together, but after Taylor's TIME interview where she referenced Horcruxes (from Harry Potter) I have no choice but to believe that she was inspired by the Prophecy in the story. The general message is that sometimes Taylor wishes she could rewrite what's already been written in the stars for her:

Hand on the throttle
Thought I caught lightning in a bottle
Oh, but it's gone again
And it was written
I got cursed like Eve got bitten
Oh, was it punishment?
Pad around when I get home
I guess a lesser woman would've lost hope
A greater woman wouldn't beg

Clearly she is feeling like she's gotten a raw deal when it comes to the relationship she's talking about here, and feels conflicted over whether or not it's "fine" for her to feel this way. It always is, girl!

Please
I've been on my knees
Change the prophecy
Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company
Let it once be me
Who do I have to speak to
About if they can redo the prophecy?

ANOTHER STAB IN THE HEART. I don't want money, just someone who wants my company??? LONELY GIRLS STAND UPPPPP. 

Cards on thе table
Mine play out like fools in a fablе
Oh, it was sinking in (Sinking in, oh)
Slow is the quicksand
Poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand
Oh, still I dream of him

Damn. Again we have her feeling like she's been made a fool of, and while thinking that it's written in the stars for her already to feel this way, she's still dreaming of a different outcome. 

And I sound like an infant
Feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen
A greater woman stays cool
But I howl like a wolf at the moon
And I look unstable
Gathered with a coven 'round a sorceress' table
A greater woman has faith
But even statues crumble if they're made to wait
I'm so afraid I sealed my fate
No sign of soulmates
I'm just a paperweight in shades of greige
Spending my last coin so someone will tell me it'll be okay

This whole song tells me one thing: this girl just wants to feel okay. She wants to be told everything will be alright, she wants someone to make her feel safe and grounded. She's TIRED! So am I, girl. So am I. 

Cassandra

This may or may not be another Kim/Kanye diss. It certainly seems so. The common theme is that Taylor was caught off guard by something terrible, and everyone came after her. Sounds a lot like real life!

I was in my new house placing daydreams
Patching up the crack along the wall
I pass it and lose track of what I'm saying
'Cause that's where I was when I got the call

Yup. The call that her shit was about to get ROCKED by a couple of liars.

When the first stone's thrown, there's screamin'
In the streets, there's a raging riot
When it's "Burn the bitch," they're shrieking
When the truth comes out, it's quiet

A much more direct line. Kim/Kanye made a lot of noise but when it came time for the truth, they were quiet. And so was their family! 

So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst
And tried to tell the town
So they filled my cell with snakes, I regret to say
Do you believe me now?
I was in my tower weaving nightmares
Twisting all my smiles into snarls
They say, "What doesn't kill you makes you aware"
What happens if it becomes who you are?

Snake references, so K/K. I love this last line - everyone always says something along the lines of "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," but she's right - what if it does the exact opposite? How does anyone know if they're able to weather a storm? 

They knew, they knew, they knew the whole time
That I was onto somethin'
The family, the pure greed, the Christian chorus line
They all said nothin'
Blood's thick, but nothin' like a payroll
Bet they never spared a prayer for my soul
You can mark my words that I said it first
In a mourning warning, no one heard

WOW. "blood's thick, but nothin' like a payroll. I'm going to go ahead and jump on the wagon now, this is absolutely about the entire Kardashian/Jenner family. A shame, too. We all know they're all fans. A good song, cutting, sad for sure. 

Peter

To me, this song seems to be between two people who could never work out because of timing. Or, just not being able to find a middle ground. Taylor waited around for this person to get with it, but they just didn't. Now, she's confused and sad, seemingly blaming herself a bit for how it all turned out. 

Forgive me, Peter
My lost fearless leader
In closets like cedar
Preserved from when we were just kids
Is it somethin' I did?
The goddess of timing
Once found us beguiling
She said she was trying
Peter, was she lying?
My ribs get the feeling she did

This opening tells us she truly isn't sure how things fell apart. Was it timing? Or was I made to be a fool, again? 

You said you were gonna grow up
Then you were gonna come find me
Said you were gonna grow up
Thеn you were gonna come find mе
Said you were gonna grow up
Then you were gonna come find me
Words from the mouths of babes
Promises oceans deep
But never to keep
Oh, never to keep

Empty promises seems to be a BIG theme on this album. Whether its Joe, Matty, the public - nobody wants to keep there word to Taylor. BLASPHEMY.

When crossing your jet stream
We both did the best we could do
Underneath the same moon
In different galaxies

More feelings of "missed connections." A lot of so close, yet so far.

And I won't confess that I waited, but I let the lamp burn
As the men masqueraded, I hoped you'd return
With your feet on the ground, tell me all that you'd learned
'Cause love's never lost when perspective is earned
And you said you'd come and get me, but you were twenty-five
And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired
Lost to the "Lost Boys" chapter of your life
Forgive me, Peter, please know that I tried
To hold on (Hold on) to the days (To the days)
When you were mine
But the woman who sits by the window
Has turned out the light

She waited around as long as she could, but it just wasn't worth it anymore. They are always in different seasons of life and despite who this song is "about," it's really a sad idea. Things like this happen all the time, but eventually, you've got to know when to call it. It certainly sounds like Taylor has reached that point. She's apologetic, but she's doing it for the both of them. DEVASTATING!

The Bolter

Here we have another great, even toned but sad song where Taylor uses a metaphor to describe herself in the third person. I LOVE IT! There were a lot of things going around about "The Bolter" when the track list came out, some based on folklore (a story about a hare), some based on the more obvious meaning of the word. Everyone thought it could be in reference to Joe "bolting" but just when we think one thing, Taylor flips us on our heads. SHE, is The Bolter.

By all accounts, she almost drowned
When she was six in frigid water
And I can confirm she made
A curious child, ever reviled
By everyone except her own father
With a quite bewitching face
Splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless
Excellent fun 'til you get to know her
Then she runs like it's a race
Behind her back, her best mates laughed
And they nicknamed her "The Bolter"

Taylor's talked a lot about feeling like she was ignored and misunderstood when she was younger. It seems she's had a real sense of when she wasn't being taken seriously from a young age - preach sister! The frustration that follows would then lead her to exiting the situation, all not to feel like a burden. 

Started with a kiss
"Oh, we must stop meeting like this"
But it always ends up with a town car speeding
Out the drive one evening
Ended with the slam of a door
Then he'll call her a whore
Wish he wouldn't be sore
But as she was leaving
It felt like breathing

This to me is just painting a picture of a fight. Heading into a night lying to yourselves, "nothing's going to happen!" when you know where it's going to go. Which means you also know when it's going to get bad, so you…BOLT. Oh, and that it feels great to do! We love running away from our problems in this Haus Of Swift!

All her fuckin' lives
Flashed before her eyes
It feels like the time
She fell through the ice
Then came out alive

Oh shit, this is actually way more intense than I remembered. It must've been a HUGE fight. I mean, yea. He called her a whore! I'd be pissed! 

He was a cad, wanted her bad
Just like any good trophy hunter
And she liked the way it tastes
Taming a bear, making him care
Watching him jump then pulling him under
And at first blush, this is fate
When it's all roses, portrait poses
Central Park Lake in tiny rowboats
What a charming Saturday
That's when she sees the littlest leaks
Down in the floorboards
And she just knows she must bolt

We've all gotten the general theme now, right? Before things get too real, LEAVE. Abandon ship, literally. That's where Taylor's head had been at. Old habits die screaming! 

She's been many places with
Men of many faces
First, they're off to the races
And she's laughing, drawin' aces
But none of it is changin'
That the chariot is waitin'
Hearts are hers for the breakin'
There's escape in escaping

Woooowww. "There's escape in escaping." What I hear, is that there is CONTROL in escaping. Absolutely. I would think that it's second nature to want to protect yourself, and always having control over your situation when so much of your life is already out of your control? That's a hard habit to kick. I'd say all in all, this song is pretty chaotic in a whirlwind romance kind of way. Kind of back to our homies Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton again. This time though, I don't think it's about Joe. Or, could it be? Maybe I've been assuming him such a dud this whole album that I haven't considered he used to have a little spice about him. 

Robin

On first listen it was nearly 4am after the drop, and I absolutely did not appreciate this song enough. After a few more listens, it may have to go into the category of "so sad I can't really listen to it all the time." The entire thing is basically a message to a younger version of yourself, while protecting it, too. 

Long may you reign
You're an animal, you are bloodthirsty
Out window panes talking utter nonsense
You have no idea
Strings tied to levers
Slowed-down clocks tethered
All this showmanship
To keep it for you in sweetness

Here she's acknowledging that she would never want her younger self losing her spark or passion, and in order to do that, things must be kept from you. It seems she's realizing now as an adult that it's not in a malicious way, and the people around her wanted to protect her. 

Way to go, tiger
Higher and higher
Wilder and lighter
For you
Long may you roar
At your dinosaurs
You're a just ruler
Covered in mud, you look ridiculous
And you have no idea

This is more of "keeping that childlike wonder." That lack of care, the freedom to be yourself. Not wanting anything to get in the way of that innocence. 

You got the dragonflies above your bed
You have a favorite spot on the swing set
You have no room in your dreams for regrets
(You have no idea)
The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean
You'll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline
But now we'll curtail your curiosity
In sweetness

More of that (good) nostalgia Taylor loves, has me crying in the club rn. We all had something hanging above our beds like that! Ugh, what a time too. I love "the time will arrive for the cruel and the mean," like there's plenty of time to have to face the reality of life. Why rush it? PS - I also had a trampoline. Just saying. So, yes. Right into the "automatic tears" file. 

The Manuscript

Holy shit, I can't believe we're on the last one. I can't decide if what I've done is impressive given the amount of time it's taken me to do it, but something tells me no. I'm going to go ahead and pat myself on the back for it, though, just so it was worth it to write ~13,000 words about all this. 

The Manuscript may be the most important track on the entire album. Both sides. It's the final chapter, the end, the summary of events. The Post Mortem. Not just in this album, but in all of Taylor's life. We have tons of references to different people and things from her past, and ultimately the tone of it is, "we're moving on."

Now and then she rereads the manuscript
Of the entire torrid affair
They compared their licenses
He said, "I'm not a donor but
I'd give you my heart if you needed it"
She rolled her eyes and said
"You're a professional"
He said, "No, just a good samaritan"
He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was
Soon they'd be pushin' strollers
But soon it was over

We start off in what seems to be the Land of Red and/or Speak Now. This little exchange that we're reminiscing on could've been Jake Gyllenhaal, or John Mayer - based on the "they compared their licenses" line. It all feels very "smooth talkin' older guy." 

In the age of him, she wished she was thirty
And made coffee every morning in a Frеnch press
Afterwards she only atе kids' cereal
And couldn't sleep unless it was in her mother's bed
Then she dated boys who were her own age
With dart boards on the backs of their doors
She thought about how he said since she was so wise beyond her years
Everything had been above board
She wasn't sure

And here's more confirmation about the age difference. She wished to be older so she would feel more secure, but ultimately it wasn't the move, or her fault. The line about sleeping in her mother's bed is heartbreaking - a place she felt safe when she needed it. 

And the years passed
Like scenes of a show
The professor said to write what you know
Lookin' backwards
Might be the only way to move forward
Then the actors
Were hitting their marks
And the slow dance
Was alight with the sparks
And the tears fell
In synchronicity with the score
And at last
She knew what the agony had been for

Chills up my entire fucking spine. Wow. Mirrorball throwbacks, expressing how she feels like she needs to go through all this pain to put on a show - all while having the actual need to heal. 

The only thing that's left is the manuscript
One last souvenir from my trip to your shores
Now and then I reread the manuscript
But the story isn't mine anymore

I'm sobbing on the keyboard. Holy shit. "The Manuscript" is the story of her life, that she gave to us. She reflects back on it sometimes, but after it's become ours, it doesn't even feel like her own anymore. She's moved on. It's ours now. 

I don't think there's a better way to end this blog. A complete masterpiece from top to bottom, one that will only grow with time. It's truly so much fun to throw yourself into loving something like music or storytelling, and respecting an artist who is the fucking BEST at it. Taylor Swift, as always, you are a Goddess among mortals. 

And let's add a few more words for Taylor so we hit that lucky number…13.